I have always had the instinct to control things in order to feel safe. If I can predict the future, know what the outcome of my actions will be, see the pitfalls three steps before they become a possibility, then I have a feeling of sense of security that everything is going to be OK. This belief construct is one that many of us carry, especially those of us who have experienced trauma. The truth is that is keeps us small. It keeps us from creating in our grander capacities, and it is part of an inverted holographic energetic matrix that is held in place by fear.
Reading my words may cause your nervous system a sense of alarm because there is a part of you that believed it to be true, as I once did. Breathe and check in with your body. Pull yourself in and ground as you continue to read my words.
In my journey of consciousness awakening, one of the biggest insights that I have had is that my beliefs around control and the way it has manifested in my nervous system have been connected to an inverted/reversed reality, and that I do have a choice to flip the inside out and have a completely new experience.
When I speak about an inverted or holographic reality, I am talking about one that is inorganic, one that functions opposite to the way that our organic energetic templates function. Self-care turns into self-shaming. The desire for love loops back into a nervous system response that traps us into the same patterns of fight or flight or recreating past-life traumas.
In the inverted reality, there is a split between the heart’s knowing and the mind’s need to control. We take guidance and knowing from the mind before the heart. Our actions and intentions stem from fear, the desire for self-preservation, and the forgetting that we have always been held by the Divine and that we are all connected to all of existence.
In my journey of remembrance and plugging back into my own organic template, I am reunited with my Source field, so that my body is being guided by my Higher Self, aka my nonphysical self that is connected in to Source.
What this feels like is being able to trust my heart and my body sensations first and foremost. My thinking mind is in service to my heart. My body’s natural intelligence is able to show me through sensations, movements and through waves of chills that I am releasing energy, alchemizing the old, and remembering what is true for me each step of the way.
Letting go of the old versions of myself feels both exhilarating and overwhelming. It’s like when you get to the top of a tall roller coaster climb, and the cart is moving so fast that you can’t help but throw your arms up in the arm, gasp for air and free fall. This is how I describe my experience of consciousness expansion. It’s like I want to grab on to a piece of furniture to make sure I’m still connected to something physical, but I still have to let go and keep allowing myself to let go even more, trusting that I am completely held by life itself.
Each of us has a unique journey of coming back into our own remembrance. There is no one right way or modality to do it. As we awaken, we remember our own self-mastery.
Trusting our body’s intelligence is essential, and being able to release, transform and alchemize through movement, sound and expression are ways of supporting evolution without recreating the stories that hold the old energy in place.
Remembering and activating through the physical body is the process of embodiment.
May your journey of awakening be graceful and full of joy.
Remember that you can always find your way back home through your heart.
With great love,
Melanie Adrianna
If you’re interested in being witnessed and seen in your remembrance and inner alchemy, please visit me at http://MelanieAdrianna.com.
